7 March 2018

Filling Our Nest | Adam + Pippa

Filling Our Nest is a personal photography project that aims to give a voice to couples who have experienced infertility and miscarriage. The purpose of the project is to both give a group of incredible couples the opportunity to share their experiences and have their strength and bravery recognised, but also to hopefully encourage others in this situation. The project will include couples at different stages of growing their family. This project comes from a very personal place and a frustration that something so painful is not openly discussed as it should be. Let’s change that. If you are impacted by any of the content that you see in this post, then please do share in on your social media. If you are interested in taking part in this project, I plan for it to be an ongoing thing. Please do email me at laurarhianphotography@gmail.com.

With love,

Laura

Adam and Pippa are a young married couple, who have a beautiful baby boy called A-Jay, born on Friday 3rd November 2017 at a gorgeous 9lbs 5oz! Adam and Pippa have been married for almost three years and have been together for ten.

>> This is their story <<

Our experience started back in November 2014, when we decided that I would stop taking my pill and try for a baby a few months before we were due to get married. Like a lot, if not most couples, we had no idea that we would struggle to conceive.
We tried for a year before deciding to go to the doctors. To me something just didn’t feel right, we were young at 25 and 31 I felt we would have conceived straight away.

The doctor sent us for the usual blanket of tests for me as I had quite irregular periods and a sperm test for my husband. We were assigned a gynaecologist who we would visit for all of our results. So after around 6 months of testing we went to see her, my right ovary had a polycystic appearance and my husbands sperm test came back as having low sperm morphology, which we had no idea how complicated sperm was. So she sent Adam for a second test and sure enough on our second visit to her she told us we would struggle to convince naturally and she wanted to refer us for ivf. That was the 26th of July 2016.
For us there was no question we had to give it a shot. We went on holiday in the August whilst we waited for our referral and to our shock we returned pregnant. Utter miracle and disbelief filled us but I unfortunately miscarried on the 26th September 2016 at 6 weeks.

We were totally heartbroken how could life be that cruel so at that point I gave up completely my life felt empty and over. Without the support of my amazing husband I don’t no where I would be. He’s my strength and no words could describe how he picked me up and pieced me together again.

We and all but given up when we received a phone call from our doctors surgery saying our referral had gone through and we would be getting an appointment at Manchester care clinic on November 8th 2016.
Fast forward to January 25th 2017 and our first ivf cycle started, my amazing husband administered every single injection I had and after 13 days of stimulation we went in for egg collection. Out of the 16 follicles seen on the ultrasound only 3 had eggs in, another blow, out of those only 2 were mature and after fertilisation only 1 embryo made it. That was the hardest emotional rollercoaster we have ever been on. Those days between egg collection and transfer have been the hardest days our my life, I sobbed when we only had one as the chances looked so slim and my husband said “Pip, that one is all we need, that one is our baby!” Those words will never leave me because he was right. That one is snoring his head off right next to me now as a 14 week old little boy.

The support we had was amazing, our family and friends were there every step of the way, even in on the injections some nights but the greatest support was each other and for me my husband, my absolute rock! Nobody knows what you are feeling and going through other than each other, so you can have an amazing broad support system in family and friends but without each other you have nothing. It’s the love for each other that gets you through.
It took us 3 long hard years to get our family and my god are we loving every second!

>> What Sort Of Impact Did This Have On You / You As A Couple <<

A friend recently said to us that we were an inspiration to go through what we went through and still come out stronger as a couple and still have a sense of humour! And I can say that is 100% down to Adam. He is the glue, at no point has he ever let it beat him or given up on the dream. He’s the funniest, kindest man I’ve ever met and this whole journey has made us so much stronger when it could have broken us, he would never have let that happen. He’s pulled me out from such a dark place at times, an no matter how much he felt so guilty that he couldn’t give me what I wanted, a family, he never let on. Alls he ever wanted was to make me happy, our motto was always no matter which it was with the problem it would only ever be both of us. We never blamed each other or resented each other we are a team and that to me shows us we are soul mates. We are best friends and even closer than ever!

Sure it wasn’t all roses at the beginning of our journey it was difficult. We both blamed ourselves silently, which ruptured into arguments about other insignificant little things because we were to scared to talk about the truth. But it gets better. You just need to work up the courage when you’re ready and get it out.
A friend said to me “everything is temporary” and it’s so true it is! He’s our rainbow!

>> Is There Anything That You Did That You Found Was Helpful To Deal With Your Situation? <<

Talking is your biggest saviour and biggest hurdle at the same time. You both feel exactly the same as each other and once we realised that it was so much easier to be open.
Talk to anyone you can find, never hold it in, It’s nothing to be ashamed of. And there’s so many people out there that have been where you are and can offer you a light at the end of the tunnel.
Spend nights with each other not talking about it, as much as you need to talk at the same time sometimes you just need to be you as a couple, no pressure no sadness just enjoy each other, keep that love and marriage sparkling! Relaxing meals out and a few drinks.
I loved circuit training! It got all of my frustration out and it was an hour 5 times a week where I just concentrated on the next 1 minute station.

>> Was There Anything That Happened That Was Particularly Unhelpful? <<

Google! Never google anything, it will not end well.
We found my sister falling pregnant 1 month after getting married very difficult as I had miscarried a few weeks earlier also. I couldn’t even bring myself to talk to her, her 12 weeks scan was the very same day we started IVF. We never want anyone to struggle with fertility or go through what we have had to but we felt so jealous at that point. It’s so honest but it’s so painful.
However now we have a nephew who is 16 weeks older than Ajay which is amazing, they are going to grow up together as the best friends.

>> Is There Any Advice That You Can Give To Couples Facing The Same Challenges? <<

Don’t give up!
Keep talking!
Laugh everyday with each other!
Do whatever you feel comfortable with!
It’s ok to cry!
It’s ok to feel jealous!
Don’t be ashamed of anything, it’s not you’re fault!
Just remember, Everything is Temporary!